Caution: Compliments on the endangered list soon to become extinct!
So, you’re feeling really down and depressed, maybe you’re going through some hard times that no one else knows about. Then one day unexpectedly you receive a compliment from a stranger or a friend or maybe even your boss and like honey it soothes your soul. Even if it’s just for a moment that compliment means everything. This is the power of a compliment and it is not to be ignored.
Diving beneath the surface
When you give a compliment, you show that you appreciate that person either for something they’ve done, or for who they are. Obviously, it can be easy to compliment someone on their appearance especially if they are a good looking human. But appearance isn’t everything. It’s who you are underneath all the skin, and it’s much better to be appreciated for the internal things that you can control than what you look like on the outside which is all a function of genetics. Your skin is just that wrapper that contains all the awesomeness that dwells inside of you!
Why are compliments on the endangered list!?
Compliments are rare because they will spread a worldwide pandemic of an irreversible disease called mutual appreciation for one another! Just kidding, though contrary to popular belief this is not actually a bad thing.
Imagine if instead of criticizing those around you all the time and focusing on the negative you dished out the compliment confetti instead.
I have found in my life that compliments are hard to come by, many people are very cautious about dishing them out liberally because something scary might happen if they do. But what about the untapped power of a compliment said in the right way at the right time that is genuinely felt by both the giver and the receiver?
Genuine niceness and kindness are things we often admire in others. So why not be an example of what you appreciate in the world by showing your appreciation and kindness to others in words.
What compliments can do for you?
I once did this exercise when I was on a school bus trip, I went around the bus and mentally decided what I liked about each person’s personality. I did this consciously because I reckoned that even though I didn’t really get along with certain people there was always something you could learn from them.
Once you get past your own mind blocking you to think in complimentary terms it becomes easier to see the good in someone else even if you may not see eye to eye. And once you’ve done it mentally it becomes easier to actually let those compliments ooze all over others.
In fact, there’s a great power in being able to give someone who may not like you a true compliment. It will throw them off balance and really make them think.
Maybe by your actions you could change one person and make them be kinder to everyone else?
In the end the ultimate power is that you are changing your mindset about the way you look at the world which is most powerful!
Compliments can also give you confidence, when you give a compliment you are showing the other person that you are not intimidated by their awesomeness. The fact is everyone has a completely unique skill set and view point.
And once you realize that you don’t have what the other person has you can stop trying to compete with them and start learning and benefiting from your differences as well as your similarities. By giving a compliment you are saying that you appreciate that they are different and bring something different to the table maximizing this is a huge advantage in life!
So, what can you do?
Easy – start dishing out the heartfelt genuine compliments you normally keep to yourself.
Usage directions: Apply liberally everywhere, in genuine amounts and don’t expect immediate results.
Where? When? To who? Well all of that are details, but basically to anyone you feel like it, whenever the moment is right and wherever makes sense.
Some examples:
You could say it to your kids or your partner, your parents, or your boss. And imagine the reactions that would result.
Just saying, “I’m really proud of you,” and meaning it would mean the world to so many.
If you feel the urge why not say, “I love what you’re doing.” Maybe your friend has been organising get togethers for you and a group for years, you can tell them you appreciate their dedication to your friendship. Maybe they really enjoy this outlet but that doesn’t mean you have to take advantage and expect it all to just happen.
Why not drop a “Thank you,” or “I appreciate your help or your advice/opinion,” next time you are cornered by a salesperson, or speak to a mentor?
Compliments are a way of showing gratitude to another person
So, who are you grateful for in your life? Do these truly important people know that you value them? Do they know why? If you’re not sure, make sure that they know by giving them an unexpected compliment next time you see them.
Don’t worry about feeling silly, remember the complete process only works if you tell the other person how you feel. Otherwise if you jam up with self consciousness then you don’t get to give and that truly is a missed opportunity!
Compliments are a dish best served with warm genuine appreciation. Be genuine in your compliments and you won’t have to worry about feeling silly. Even if your compliment isn’t well received, you’ll know you did the right thing.
Compliments are sweet and make the giver and the receiver feel a little warm and fuzzy inside. And isn’t that something we all need more of!?
Compliments prevent resentment
Compliments also prevent others from feeling used, taken advantage of and ultimately compliments can prevent resentment and the negative results that resentment produces.
By giving something as priceless as a genuine compliment you can prevent the demise of your relationships with those closest to you and even those who aren’t so close. You can even sweeten someone who had been sour and antagonistic to you in the past.
Compliments also prevent you from becoming resentful of others as when you look to compliment someone you automatically focus on the good bits of that person regardless of their relationship to you. And whilst you may never truly enjoy that persons company you can at least learn to appreciate that they like you bring something unique and different to the world.
Once you start dishing out the compliments – keep on going!
Be warned once you start giving compliments you won’t want to stop. Why? Well giving a compliment will probably make you feel good. You’ll also appreciate others more and start looking for the good instead of always focusing on the bad and negative things which is so much easier to do.
By showing kindness to others, you can learn the power of a compliment and change your life, become more positive and grateful and caring. You have the power to change people and change yourself just through this one act and be the change you want to see in the world. You can be kind and genuine and show that you value others even when they don’t value you.
All of this is the reason why compliments are so rare! It’s because they have the power to change your life!
And the great bit is, once you start giving compliments people will start thinking about how they might return the favor, and pretty soon you’ll be on the receiving end of some lovely thoughtful compliments. Then you will get to experience the other side of the power of a compliment and with more warm fuzzy feeling you’ll continue to utilize the power of a compliment in your own life with your relationships.
So, I hope that if you do choose to implement the power of a compliment with friends, family, strangers, or yourself that you let me know! I’d love to hear from you!
Complimenting yourself
The power of a compliment is amazing and unexpected when it comes from someone else, but don’t forget to compliment yourself. Now, this may seem a little narcissistic but it’s more about appreciating your own good bits. Sure, there are things you could improve but learning to love yourself is absolutely critical to living your dreams. I was often told “How can others love you if you don’t love yourself,” and though this is true, I think the bigger question is how can you truly receive the love and appreciation from others if you don’t actually believe there is anything good about you?
In order for you to absorb the compliments others give you and not just shrug them off as “nice words,” that someone had to say, you have to learn to give yourself compliments too.
At first it will be difficult for you to do but with practice it will feel less awkward. You can do this mentally or write down things you like about yourself, make a collage, or maybe a Pinterest board. It doesn’t matter how you do it but you will start to see a change in your behavior once you stop mentally downgrading who you are and start implementing the power of a compliment!
Think about how you treat yourself and what kind of kindness you show. There should be a balance and actually an equality in the way you treat yourself versus the way you treat others.
Use the power of a well placed genuine compliment in your life to improve your belief in yourself, your confidence, and your appreciation and gratitude for others in your life!
Don’t wait, start complementing today!