There is a saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So who are you spending your time with and do these people make you better? Do they inspire you? Do they believe in you? And why is this so important to how you feel about yourself? Well, this post is all about why you should surround yourself with people you make you better.
What do your relationships say about you?
What you feel about yourself can be reflected in the people you spend the most time with. They say misery loves company and I would propose that the kind of person you are is similarly reflected in the company you keep. So, when you look at your closest relationships what do they say about you? And is this a true reflection of the person you want to be.
Take some time to reflect on who you spend the most time with and those who are closest to you, what qualities in them are you drawn to and why?
It’s an interesting exercise to undertake that will help you figure out where you’re at relationships wise and why this will help you determine if those you’re surrounding yourself with are making you better,
Are your relationships making you better?
Every major relationship you have should be positive and healthy and make you feel like it’s ok to shoot for the stars, dream big, and believe in yourself. These people shouldn’t be trying to sabotage you or compete with you in an unhealthy way. A good way to gauge whether these people are a positive influence in your life is to understand how they make you feel when you’re with them and also when you aren’t.
Some people are great fun to be around but they leave you feeling empty and less than awesome afterward. Think about if you have people in your life who make you feel one thing when you’re with them and another thing once they have left. And is it really a healthy relationship for you?
If you are aiming for a certain dream or goal are the people who know about your goal supportive? Do you even feel comfortable talking to them about certain things if not why? Is that a personal choice or is it because you can’t trust them.
Do you trust them?
One of the most important ingredients in any relationship is trust. The newer your relationship generally the less you trust a person because you know them to a lesser degree. But as you get to know the people around you, strangers become acquaintances, and acquaintances become friends. The reason: Trust!
But what about bosses and coworkers? It’s the same do you trust the people who surround you to have your back in most situations?
The thing is it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship there is always an element of trust required for it to be a positive and healthy one.
When trust is broken
Many of us will be able to give examples of instances when our trust has been broken. Often this comes as a huge surprise and can leave you feeling hurt, angry, and weary. Depending on the severity of the breach of trust it can make you start to doubt this person whom you have placed your trust in and developed a relationship with (in whatever form).
To deal with any kind of trust breach takes a balanced approach. You want to make sure that you are being honest with yourself and understand that we all make mistakes. Though, on the other hand, if this person is habitually breaking your trust then you may decide to forgive (very hard but important) and move on, and sometimes moving on means that they are no longer in your life. This is hard!
If you want to read more about how to find forgiveness check out this post!
Surround yourself with champions and cheerleaders
If you want to make yourself better the people you want in your life should make you better and be able to see your potential even when you can’t. These people are keepers! We can dub them your champions and cheerleaders. Sometimes in the professional world, they’re called mentors and coaches.
No matter what you call them or which arena of life you’re addressing you need these people! In life, we are not islands in an endless sea of nothing. We as humans are interconnected and rely on these connections for encouragement, support, and feedback.
The people you need in your life who are your cheerleaders and your champions might be within your peer group or often those who have slightly more experience in the areas that you may be weakest. Whoever they are though, they should support you and give you those much-needed boosts to your confidence when you’re feeling down.
These people always leave you feeling like you’re an awesome person even when you’re having a bad day. And if you’ve made a mistake they’re there to tell you it’s not the end of the world and help you figure out how to get back up again.
Identify those who put limitations on you
In some areas of life, you might have people who just can’t see that you are more than you are right now. They don’t see the potential in you. And sometimes these people are in a position where they can stop you getting where you want to go. These people are gatekeepers and instead of cheerleading and championing your cause they put limitations on you without a valid reason.
Identify these people and figure out how you can work around them to get where you want to go. (Want some tips on how to do this, read this blog post).
Surround Yourself With People Who Make You Better
Ultimately, in order to live the life of your dreams you have to surround yourself with people who see you for who you are and build you up instead of tear you down. You want to surround yourself with people who make you better in all kinds of ways.
Surround yourself with people who are kind, caring, generous, trusting, relatable, reliable, loyal, supportive, challenging, fun, joyful, forgiving, positive, happy… and much more and you will be all the better for it!
